Former Representative Mark Foley never harmed anyone. He was minding his own business as the typical pedophile Republican congressman, when out of left field he was blamed for being a pedophile! This timing can’t be a coincidence. It was those hateful Democrats’ fault, playing dirty shortly before the elections. Thankfully, Foley was able to rebound after blaming his behavior on a combination of alcohol and being gay. Everyone knows that alcohol and gays can produce a lethal cocktail responsible for pedophilism, beastiality, terrible Star Trek fan fiction with grammatical errors, hope and optimism amongst the elderly, and the Iraq war.

Now there’s Rep. Curt Weldon, whose daughter’s offices were raided just because the congressman may have given his daughter lobbying contracts worth $1 million. Weldon denied the action, but was quick to point out that he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for the election being 3 weeks away. He also successefully blamed alcohol and gays for his actions.

On top of this is the argument: which president gave North Korea nukes? Clinton says that it was Bush because N. Korea’s test happened during Bush’s presidency. Bush says it was Clinton so that N. Korea would test the nuke before the midterm election. Bush is quick to point out that, if it he did do it, alcohol and some degree of queering was involved.


Well, enough finger-pointing at the poor, defenseless Republicans! I’ve got a story that’s going to stop any momentum the Democrats have attained from their honesty and integrity. Big Nose George was an innocent citizen of Wyoming, minding his business and doing nothing wrong. After a botched train robbery in which a train employee was killed, Big Nose George was executed via impromtu hanging. The medical examiner was none other than John E Osborne, who later become the 1st democrat governor of Wyoming (1893-1895). J.E. Osborne had Big Nose George’s hide made into a medical bag and shoes! That’s right, a democrat wearing someone’s skin like something out of a scary movie, possibly starring Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins. And he has no excuse: Osborne never - not even once - admitted to having an alcohol and gay sex problem. Take that!

Sincerely,
- The “Moral” Majority.

Categories: Rant